It was in Cairnes that I actually became “aware” of the Vortex . Although I had been in it since Alice Springs. Up till now it was only an uneasy feeling in the back of my mind. Here it became real. I arrived at 06:00, and went straight to the Caravelle 149 backpacker’s hotel, where my room was not ready. I waited till 10:30, got grief because the amount I prepaid was A$5 too little, and then on getting to the room found it was not what I’d paid anyway. With a straight face the guy at the reception explained, “mate”, that this is normal for Backpackers. The deposit I paid several weeks earlier was not a “deposit”, but the commission to the booking agent. I think I managed to convince him I didn’t give a fuck about what he thought was normal, and that I expect what I booked. I left and went to Gilligan's, where they had a semi-friendly staff selling a wide range of tours and activities, plus spa, pub, club and of course, discounts on everything. The folks at the Caravelle charged the room on my card as well.

As I was in the tour office at Gilligans I saw the Spirit of Freedom, the boat I'm on to dive the Great Barrier Reef, was offering 30% off on my trip. I called and got a “free” upgrade to a double cabin all to myself. Nice. Not much to write about on a dive boat other than diving, which was good. The crew was particularly helpful. There were 23 agreeable passengers on a boat designed for 28, though at 23 we already got a bit under each other’s feet. I got my ass kicked at Chess by Guilliem, a young Frenchman.

Back in Cairnes I booked at Club Crocodile Hides Hotel. I had a little room opening to a huge veranda, where I had my breakfast. A big tree next to it was filled with Parrots during the day, and bats at night. The price of the room included a meal at PJ's, the pub I went to each night anyway.

North of Cairnes is the rainforest, and I took a bus to Cape Tribulation, which turns out again to be two groups mashed into one bus. On the bus I find the inn I booked, PK’s, is a known backpackers party "resort". Now I'm convinced the tour-booking agents in Australia do not speak the same English I do: I asked for "rustic and chilled out". Sure enough, a majority of the bus disembarked at PK's, where were herded together and given the "rules". Convinced I've moved into the inner circle of backpacker Hell, the hair on the back of my neck bristled. Rox and Max -- remember them from the Brady bunch? -- saw the look in my eyes. We’d just missed lunch.

However, the room turned out to be a very nice and just far enough from the bar as not to be noisy. I went to the bar and watched the Salsa lesson, which was odd, because according to the program, it was supposed to be Limbo time. The next day’s agenda showed a theme party, and first drink is free if you cross-dress. Another opportunity to put on your sisters cloths. And guess what else is on the agenda? The Limbo!!!!