If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

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Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you've conquered human nature

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Self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of Christianity.

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There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

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Brevity is the body and soul of wit.

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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.- Dorothy Parker 1893-1967

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Never confuse motion with action.- Ernest Hemingway 1898-1961,

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When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.Al Franken, \Oh, the Things I Know\, 2002

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The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations. - David Friedman

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In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

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Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. - George Carlin

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I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.- W. C. Fields 1880 - 1946

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

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In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

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How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct. - Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881), Speech at the House of Commons, January 24, 1860

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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

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Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.\ ~ Native American wisdom

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Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger (1923 - )

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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

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Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. - H. H. Williams

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You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. - Henry Ford

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Experience isn’t an accident; It’s a reward for those that pursue it. - Paul Thoreau: Mosquito Coast

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For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. - Alice Kahn

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Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. - Mark Twain

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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. - Oscar Wilde

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The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. - George F. Will

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Burgundy for Kings, Champagne for Duchesses, and claret for Gentlemen.-FRENCH PROVERB

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Wine is made to be drunk as women are made to be loved; profit by the freshness of youth of the splendor of maturity; do not await decrepitude. - THEOPHILE MALVEZIN

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Wine is a peep-hole on a man.- Alcaeus c. 625 - c. 575 B.C.

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He who loves not wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long.- Martin Luther, 1777

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Wine is bottled poetry.- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Water for oxen, wine for kings.- Spanish Proverb

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Alcohol, if taken in sufficient quantities, can give one the illusion of drunkenness. - OSCAR WILDE

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In vino veritas- Pliny the Elder - Historia Naturalis

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Wine is at the head of all medicines; where wine is lacking, drugs are necessary.- Talmud

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Age appears to be best in four things--old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. - L. BACON

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Wine comes in at the mouth And love comes in at the eye; That's all we shall know for truth Before we grow old and die. I lift the glass to my mouth, I look at you, and sigh. - William Butler Yeats, Green Helmet and Other Poems.

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Tis better for pearls to pass through the lips of swine than good wine to pass through the lips of the indifferent! Unknown

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To eat, to drink and to be merry.- Ecclesiates

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And how's this for a description of the perfect wine? \It's like the perfect wife--it looks nice and is nice, natural, wholesome, yet not assertive; gracious and dependable, but never monotonous.- ANONYMOUS

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Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart. - ECCLESIASTES

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New loves and old wine, give a man these and he never refines.- Francis Beeding

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Cabernet will rape you and pinot noir seduces you. ... Cabernet will throw you down and rip your clothes off, and pinot noir subtly convinces you to take them off yourself. - Old French Saying

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Wine is sunlight, held together by water!

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Wine improves with age - I like it the older I get.- ANONYMOUS

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Nothing more excellent or valuable than wine was ever granted by the gods to man.- Plato

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A remedy for the moroseness of old age- Plato

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One not only drinks the wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and--one talks about it.- KING EDWARD VII

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Drink wine, and you will sleep well. Sleep well and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved. Ergo, drink wine and be saved.- ANONYMOUS--MEDIEVAL GERMAN SAYING

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We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.