The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

- George F. Will

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

~ Native American wisdom

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

- Oscar Wilde

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...

- George Carlin

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you've conquered human nature

- Charles Dickens 1812-1870

Self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of Christianity.

- Oscar Wilde 1856-1900

I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.

- W. C. Fields 1880 - 1946

There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

- Dorothy Parker 1893-1967

Brevity is the body and soul of wit.

- Jean Paul

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

- Dorothy Parker 1893-1967

Never confuse motion with action.

- Ernest Hemingway 1898-1961,

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

- Mark Twain

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

- Horace Walpole

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

- Henry Kissinger (1923 - )

The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.

- David Friedman

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.

- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

- George Carlin (1937 - )

How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.

- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881), Speech at the House of Commons, January 24, 1860

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

Experience isn’t an accident; It’s a reward for those that pursue it.

- Paul Thoreau: "Mosquito Coast"

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.

- Henry Ford